What To Do When He Doesn’t Call (God I hate that!)

Emily 22/11/2016

What To Do When He Doesn’t Call (God I hate that!)

Sometimes I wonder why I do this.

The hunt. The hope. The noise.

Warehouse sales are both a delight and torture for me. So many bargains to be had. Limited time to find them. And of course, there’s so much rummaging around and praying for sizes.

Last week at a particularly stressful sale, I locked eyes on the most delicious pair of shoes which I immediately decided would make my life better, solve all of my problems and have me glide effortlessly through life like a wave of perfection. And they’d go with almost everything in my wardrobe (justification – tick!) And so I set about finding a pair in my size.

30 minutes later, my friend gently tapped me on the shoulder and softly told me that I’d turned into the Tasmanian Devil and they didn’t have any left in my size.

‘And no, you can’t squeeze your feet into those.’

‘And yes, they look too big.’

I was devastated.

And what was worse was that my friend had picked up all these awesome clothes while I’d been head down bum up in the bargain shoe bin, rifling through 40 pairs of the same shoe looking for a size 7 – and I did it TWICE!

Is there anything more frustrating in this world?

Yes! 

Waiting for a guy to bloody call!

That is more frustrating.

Meet Suzie. Suzie has just returned home from a great second date with Brad. At the end of the evening, they had a kiss and he said he’d call her about seeing her again for a movie they might catch on Friday.

Suzie goes about her fabulous life, but by the time Thursday comes around, still no Brad. So she drops him a text.

“Hi Brad. How did you go nailing your presentation on Tuesday? What time were you thinking for the cinema tomorrow? Was gonna sneak in an after work drink before meeting you if there’s time.”

By the time Friday comes along, still no call from Brad and Suzie is experiencing and array of emotions.

Things Suzie considers doing:

1. Calling Brad to make sure he’s okay because she really wants to see him again

2. Calling Brad and shouting down the phone at his voicemail that he’s an utter prick and can burn in hell

3. Facebook stalking Brad, all the while imagining him to be utterly perfect and she not worthy of him Things 

Suzie thinks about Brad:

1. Maybe he’s having a really bad week and he needs me to take the lead a bit

2. Maybe he did, actually burn in hell

3. He’s out shagging super models

Through working with me, Suzie has learnt to apply this thinking instead:

1. Regardless as to what may or may not be happening in Brad’s life, I deserve to be with someone who can’t wait to see me again. Who tries to see me BEFORE our Friday night date. Not someone who has too much going on in his life that he forgets, or doesn’t have the balls to be straight up if he doesn’t want to see me again. Thanks but no thanks Brad.

2. I can waste my time and energy on anger, bitterness and resentment towards Brad (because to be fair, he displayed some dickhead behaviour). But the more I concentrate on anger, bitterness and resentment, the more of it I’ll have. I choose to let go and be grateful that Brad falling away opens up space for someone even more amazing to come along.

3. Putting all my eggs in one basket is dangerous. (What Suzie means by this is that by hunting down, locking in and pinning all hope on one poor guy because he’s your only date in 2 months is a sure fire way to feel disappointed if he doesn’t call. Go out and fill your life. Go one multiple dates of different forms – dates with guys yes, but also fill your diary with other ‘dates’. Spend time with friends. Make new friends. Reconnect with old friends. Get out and about and say YES. Confidence only comes when we do shit that gets our heart racing a little. Create a full, connected life and you will attract more connection. If you’ve been out and met new people and have a couple of dates lined up with a couple of guys, Brad not calling means naff all. If Brad is the only one on the scene, the disappointment of him not calling going to be amplified.)

Remember babe, if the shoe doesn’t fit, keep on walking. Don’t waste your time looking for a size that isn’t there – you’re missing out on taking home something even better.

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Much love,

Em x