A Letter To Myself

Emily 21/12/2016

Let’s be honest, as Christmas rolls in even the least sentimental of us take 5 minutes to reflect on the year just gone.

Yes, Christmas brings with it the threat of Cliff Richard playing when you turn the radio on, but it also brings the promise of a fresh start and a new year in a mere matter of days.

I’m not particularly sentimental, so the 5 minutes I spent in deep reflection started with a focus on all the crap things that went on this year – to me; my family; my friends; friends of friends.

But in the interests of not being a miserable cow, I figured I’d better find the lessons (I know, it sounds so wanky!) before the 5 minutes was up!

Unexpectedly, I took a further few minutes to put pen to paper in the hope of organising the brain vomit which my 5 minutes of reflection had induced. And as the jumbled mess became some kind of open letter to myself (also a bit wanky, right?) I figured maybe we could all do with the reminder that it’s in the tough times that great things shine.

So I thought to hell with it, let them read my sentimental bits – I hope it helps.

 

Dear Em,

Well babe, 2016 has been a bit of a cluster-fuck, let’s be honest. And at times you’ve struggled to smile through the shit - It’s not been an easy year.

You have dealt with rejection and heartbreak and done so in the public eye. The realisation that your own love life will forever be questioned, asked-after and judged has been surprisingly tough. Your heart can be broken too and you have cried your fair amount of tears; (and eaten a fair amount of ice cream) Tears that question your self-worth, your attractiveness, your fate. There will be more tears, I have no doubt.

But this year, you have learnt that you have a love for yourself so great, that you will not settle for anything other than epic love to match it.

You have learnt to honour yourself, and your body.

You have learnt to be kind to yourself and to nurture your soul.

You have learnt that you are the most important relationship you will ever have. And that you are also the most difficult relationship you’ll ever have.

You’ll be ok.

You are loved.

 

You have experienced inexplicable grief with the unfathomable promise of more to come. You have battled with anger, guilt and terrible sadness, and I wish you could be spared the inevitable pain of losing the one you love the most.

In truth there will be times of great sorrow ahead that right now, you can’t begin to imagine.

But this year, you have learnt that there is a much bigger force at play. Something stronger than blood or body, a bond that connects our very souls and you have learnt to find great comfort in that.

You have found a greater love for those living and that will continue to nourish, support and guide you in the darker times to come.

You’ll be ok.

You are loved.

 

You have totally fucked up in business, time and time again. Seriously, some of those marketing campaigns truly sucked babe.

You’ve invested time, money and energy which you could often not afford, into building your business. And it’s been really rough.

You’ve felt alone, overwhelmed and lost as you’ve had to learn about marketing, sales and the dreaded world of technology, when all you wanted to do was teach women how to have phenomenal relationships.

Business is not easy and it will continue to test you.

But this year, you have learnt that tenacity, trust and belief are core to any success. And you have been humbled by the amount of people who have, without question, believed in you when you weren’t sure if you believed in yourself anymore.

You have learnt about true friendship and sit in gratitude for those who have, so generously, given their time and talent to help you succeed.

Your crew binds the net that catches you when you fall, and the net has never been stronger – so fall.

You’ll be ok.

You are loved.

 

You have watched as those around you have battled their own hardships.

You’ve listened and comforted and felt their pain as if it were your own. You’ve witnessed their struggles and questioned the fairness of life along-side them.

You’ve been there as they tried to work out who they are in this world, what they stand for and where their purpose lies.

But this year, you have learnt that no one has their shit together. Even those whom you admire the most have their demons and everyone has a cross to bear.

You have learnt be strong for those around you, to truly listen and to serve.

You have watched on as your friends conquered this crazy world, but both they and you have more to conquer still.

You’ll be ok.

You are loved.

And so my love, as this year ends think not of the struggles, for they are just a part of life. T

hink instead of the beautiful lessons learnt, the phenomenal relationships forged and the amazing strength around you. All this will continue to support you in times to come – the good, the bad and the hilarious.

2016 has bought you it’s fair share of crap. But in amongst all of that, you have learnt to truly love. And for that, I thank you.

So bring on 2017 and whatever it has in store.

You’ll be ok, babe.

For you are loved. 

 

Please feel free to share this blog publicly or privately with anyone who needs a little reminder that they’ll be ok, and that they are loved. With all my love and gratitude, Happy Christmas. Em x

Much love,

Em x